If you’ve spent years trying to lose weight, you’ve probably been told the same thing over and over again:
“You just need to eat fewer calories.”
And technically, there is truth in that.
If your body consistently uses more energy than you consume, you will lose weight.
But here’s the problem.
Knowing that calories matter doesn’t mean that counting calories is the best strategy for everyone.
Because your body isn’t a calculator.
What you eat can affect how hungry you feel, how full you are, how much you naturally eat, how much energy your body uses processing food and whether you can actually stick to your approach long enough to see results.
This becomes particularly important as we get older, when preserving muscle, maintaining strength and supporting our health become just as important as seeing the number on the scales come down.
So rather than asking:
“How can I eat as few calories as possible?”
A much more useful question is:
“How can I make the calories I eat more satisfying and nutritious?”
Here’s where I’d start.
1. Your body isn’t a calculator
We often talk about food as though every calorie behaves identically.
Eat 500 calories and your body receives 500 calories.
But food isn’t simply a number.
The structure of food, how it is processed, how easily it is digested and its combination of protein, carbohydrate, fat and fibre all influence what happens after you eat it.
For example, whole nuts have a different physical structure from nut butter, and research suggests that the energy actually absorbed from whole nuts can be lower than the amount predicted by traditional calorie calculations.
That doesn’t mean calories don’t count.
It means the calorie number isn’t the entire story.
What to do instead
Rather than obsessing over tiny differences in calorie counts, make minimally processed foods the foundation of your diet.
Think:
- potatoes
- oats
- fruit
- vegetables
- beans and lentils
- wholegrains
- eggs
- fish
- meat
- yoghurt
- nuts and seeds
You don’t need a perfect diet.
You need a diet made up predominantly of foods that give your body something useful.
2. Different foods affect fullness differently
Imagine two snacks containing roughly the same number of calories.
One is a small, highly processed snack that you can eat in a couple of bites.
The other contains protein, fibre and plenty of food volume.
They may provide similar energy, but they can have very different effects on how satisfied you feel afterwards.
Protein is particularly useful here.
It has a higher thermic effect of food than carbohydrate or fat, meaning your body uses more energy to digest and process it. It also tends to be highly satiating.
This is one reason I don’t want women to focus solely on making their meals smaller.
Make your meals more filling instead.
At your next meal, ask:
“Where’s the protein?”
Then add:
“Where are my plants?”
For example:
Breakfast:
Greek yoghurt + berries + oats + seeds
Lunch:
Chicken + salad + wholegrain wrap
Dinner:
Salmon + potatoes + two vegetables
You aren’t trying to eat as little as possible.
You’re trying to create a meal that does its job.
3. Your appetite isn’t simply a matter of willpower
This is one of the biggest things we often get wrong about weight loss.
We assume that if we’re hungry, we should simply have more willpower.
But hunger isn’t a character flaw.
Your appetite is regulated by a complex interaction between your brain, hormones, gut, genetics and the foods around you.
Some foods are much easier to overeat than others.
And that’s important.
Research from Professor Kevin Hall and colleagues has shown just how powerful food composition and processing can be.
In a tightly controlled study, participants eating an ultra-processed diet consumed around 500 more calories per day than when they ate an unprocessed diet, despite the researchers matching the diets for several nutritional characteristics.
The participants weren’t instructed to eat more.
They simply ate more.
This is why “just eat less” can be frustratingly simplistic advice.
What can you do?
Make the foods you want to eat more of easy and convenient.
Keep:
- fruit visible
- vegetables prepared
- protein foods available
- healthy meals easy to assemble
And don’t rely on willpower around foods you find particularly difficult to stop eating.
Change your environment instead.
4. Low calorie doesn’t automatically mean healthy
We’ve become very good at finding ways to make food lower in calories.
But lower calorie doesn’t necessarily mean more nutritious.
A food can be low in calories while providing very little protein, fibre or micronutrients.
And if it doesn’t satisfy you, you may simply find yourself looking for something else to eat later.
This is why I prefer the question:
“What am I getting for these calories?”
Rather than:
“How low can I get the calories?”
A 150-calorie snack could be:
- highly processed and easy to eat quickly
or
- Greek yoghurt with berries and a little nuts or seeds
Both can fit into a healthy diet.
But the second option gives you considerably more nutritional value and may be more satisfying.
Think nutrient density, not just calorie density.
The goal isn’t to find the lowest-calorie food.
It’s to get more nutrition, satisfaction and enjoyment from the food you eat.
5. Weight loss shouldn’t come at the expense of muscle
This becomes especially important after 40.
When you lose weight, you don’t want all of that weight loss to come from muscle.
Muscle helps you stay strong, functional and active as you age.
That’s why I don’t want your entire weight-loss strategy to revolve around eating less and doing more cardio.
Instead, think about body composition, not just body weight.
Your priorities should include:
Protein:
Include a good source at each main meal.
Strength training:
Aim to train your muscles consistently, ideally around 2–3 times per week.
Movement:
Walk, take the stairs, stay active throughout the day and avoid thinking exercise only “counts” if it’s a formal workout.
A sensible calorie deficit:
If fat loss is your goal, your overall intake still matters. But you don’t need to create the biggest possible deficit.
You need one you can actually sustain.
So what should you focus on instead?
If you’re trying to lose body fat, here’s the checklist I’d rather you use.
1. PROTEIN
Include a clear protein source at every main meal.
2. FIBRE
Eat vegetables, fruit, beans, lentils and wholegrains regularly.
3. FOOD QUALITY
Make minimally processed, nutrient-dense foods the foundation of your diet.
4. FULLNESS
Build meals that actually satisfy you rather than simply trying to make portions smaller.
5. MUSCLE
Strength train consistently and eat enough protein to support your muscle.
6. MOVEMENT
Walk more and build activity into your normal day.
7. CALORIES
Yes, they still matter.
But think of calories as one part of the picture, not the entire picture.
The biggest mindset shift
I don’t want you to finish this thinking:
“Calories don’t matter.”
Because they do.
If you’re trying to lose body fat, you ultimately need to consume less energy than your body uses over time.
But there’s a huge difference between understanding that principle and believing that the solution is to eat as little as possible.
A diet that leaves you starving, exhausted and constantly thinking about food isn’t a successful strategy just because it produces a calorie deficit.
The better question is:
“How can I create a modest calorie deficit while eating enough protein, fibre and nutritious food to keep me satisfied and protect my muscle?”
That’s a much more useful place to start.
Especially after 40.
Don’t just eat less.
Eat in a way that makes eating less easier.
And that is a very different approach to dieting.